Milk Spills & Sin Spills- Overcoming Cynicism in Motherhood
Being a dreamer can be a double-edged sword.
When I first dreamed of being a mom, I envisioned snuggling endlessly reading books with my preschoolers, baking sugar cookies for the neighbors with toddlers in tow, and sharing the gospel over breakfast with awestruck children.
And the crazy thing is, these things have all happened! The sweet toddler really does nuzzle his head on my shoulder as we read Curious George. The proud preschooler parades his star-shaped sugar cookies with gusto. And the gospel really is proclaimed alongside scrambled eggs and oatmeal at my breakfast table.
But, as a young woman, my “dreams” were incomplete versions of these realities. I had omitted an important dimension to this story- my sin.
In reality, the snuggling and book-reading sessions are often peppered by squabbles over who gets to turn the page.
The cookie-baking sessions include clumsy children spilling the flour and then sin spilling out of my heart in reaction to flour-dusted countertops.
The teaching moments at the table are punctuated by squeals of an indignant baby demanding MORE food while I’m leading the charge in a milk-spill clean-up. And then the clamor of three children is further accentuated by my own annoyed voice loudly demanding my rowdy bunch to “BE PATIENT!” Ironic, much?
The magic of the moment is sometimes spoiled, not by my children spilling the milk, but by my sin spilling out for all to see.
When “milk spills” lead to “sin spills” I’m tempted to despair. Cynicism whispers, “why try?”
“Why try to bond with your toddler when you end up snapping at them?”
“Why try to bless your neighbors when you can’t even speak kindly to your own children?”
“Why teach your children about Jesus when you are such a sorry picture of the gospel yourself?”
And if my hope in mothering were dependent on perfect parenting, then despair would soon descend.
It is moments like these when my sin looms large that I say with Paul in Romans 7: 24-25, “What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!”
If you’re an idealistic person it can be easy to get stuck at the crossing when our perfectly-crafted plan intersects with a deluge of plain, old sin. Yet Romans 7 doesn’t end with, “What a wretched man I am!”
Our wretched state leads us to a person. And that person is not a slightly more cleaned-up version of yourself. That person is not the next self-help guru with a plan for habit-stacking genius or increasing your net worth. That person isn’t even the really cool mom on social media with hacks for navigating toddler meltdowns or potty training in three easy lessons (although…potty training tips are always appreciated by this mama😂).
That person is “Jesus Christ our Lord.”
Jesus, who “knew no sin, nor was any deceit found in his mouth (1 Peter 2:22).
Jesus, who “was reviled, but did not revile in return” (1 Peter 2:23).
And the list could go on.
We deal with motherhood sin not by showing our children what a great mom we are and by trying to make our kids into our image. Rather, when we sin, we point them to “Jesus Christ our Lord.”
Growing up, when my mom sinned or got irritated she often made it a point to say that “Jesus wouldn’t have done that.” Her goal wasn’t to build our admiration for her perfect parenting, but to cultivate in us a greater love for Christ’s perfection.
Could there be a better goal in motherhood than that? So, when the milk spills lead to sin spills yet again, let us not waste this opportunity. Let us not wallow in the gap between our motherhood ideals and daily reality. Let us turn again to our perfect Savior and say to our kids, “Jesus is better.”
